Are you interested....

or are you committed!?!  There is a difference.  Many things will capture our interest.  Interest is about drawing your attention - sometimes to distraction.  Anything that gives you pause - a color, a smell, a conversation, the news - can attract your attention and interest.

The dictionary describes commitment as "a pledge".  We often will commit ourselves to relationships, to lifestyles, to our communities.  It is a promise to ourselves to attend to the needs of whatever we find truly important in life.  

Many times we confuse interest and commitment.  There are so many things that call to us to learn and experience in ones lifetime.  How many times have you heard someone say they have always wanted to play the piano, learn to cook or go skydiving?  Perhaps you have had similar thoughts.  When this occurs we may feel disappointment or frustration.  Don't!  Recognize that these types of things are your interests and may not have a role in your life in this moment.  However, you can be open to having them to expand their role in your future.

Become clear on what you are committed to so that you can focus on creating a future that is meaningful and fulfilling.  Allowing clarity will bring your path into focus.  It will be easier to take the steps you need to support a commitment when you actually know to what you are committing.  This allows your energies to be focused on the things that are most important to you.  Recognize that your interest and commitments will change as you move through life.  Also recognize there are somethings that need a commitment from you in order for you to find happiness and feel successful. These areas include your work, your health, your life partner, your family, your creativity and your joy.  Take the time to think about how you can attend to these important areas in your life.

Do not allow "interesting" things to distract, discourage, overwhelm or stress your life.  Mindfully decide if it is something that needs commitment - if not let it go with no regret knowing that if it is truly something that needs more energy from you, it will reappear in your life. 

So, are you interested or are you committed?

Before setting a new course in life we must know where we are in the present moment.There needs to be an acceptance of what is before change can come because you can't ignore something and change it at the same time!  This does not mean you are affirming or wallowing in your current situation - just looking at it.  Acceptance equals power - where as denial leaves you powerless.  Acceptance helps remind us that we are not the situation but just having an experience.

This is the jumping off point for making change.....

With paper and pencil in hand, make a list of statements that describe your current life experiences.  There is no emotion connected to the writing - just looking at the facts.  Be sure to include all areas of your life like your job, home, friends, family, health, wealth, contribution etc.  Your work could look something like this:

     My current job is not fulfilling nor satisfying on any level.
     I love being a Mama to my wonderful children.
     I need to move my body more.  I am interested in finding a dance class.

Continue with your statements until all areas of your current living situation are addressed.  Do not keep re reading them, just write and move on.  In the end, you will notice that there are things to celebrate in your life and  things to change.  Here is the fun part! On a fresh page, start to list the things you want in your life.  Just write simple statements, in the present tense, of the way you picture your ideal life.  Your work could look something like this:

     I am so grateful to have the job of my dreams.  All my co workers are positive and supportive.
     I enjoy perfect health and care for myself and my family by eating nutritious foods.
     I enjoy taking time to care for myself - especially in dance class.

Don't worry if your don't feel these dream life statements are truthful in your current moment.  The idea is to be focusing on all the good things you are going to bring into your life instead of what you are lacking.  This shift in your mindset is really all that is needed to start you on your way to meaningful change.

After making the list of your ideal life, take a couple of moments to imagine what you will be feeling when this dream life becomes reality.  Think of the joy, freedom, fulfillment etc.  Write a couple of sentences on that and re read these sentences with joy!  Lastly, re read your dream life statements with the emotions you just were feeling while reading how this will feel for you.   Look at the wonderful package you have now created for yourself.   You could write your dream life statements on an index card ( or two) that can be reviewed everyday.  What a great way to start and end your day ~ acknowledging your potential!

Now you have a map, a direction to set your focus.  Anytime you feel down, overwhelmed or any emotion you do not enjoy, pull our your dream statements and remind yourself of all that is waiting for you.

Always With the End in Site
 

Many of us find it difficult to set goals. We often struggle with "what to do next". It's no wonder as no one ever talks about how to map out dreams! Won't it be great if we had a class in high school on how to set goals. It could save so much heart ache. I would like to offer you a way of finding your goals. 

What makes you happy ~ I mean really happy. For me, it is cool, crisp night air, hugs from my children, supporting a friend with a sick child, traveling, meeting inspiring people, perfect health and being at the beach. The feelings these things invoke in me is the guide I use to set goals. They are some of my "end goals"; meaning this is they way I want to feel at the end of any task, challenge or chore I decide to take on. 

There are two basic types of goals: means goals and end goals. Means goals are the steps we think we need to take to reach our end goals. They can distract us and even lead us in the wrong direction as we focus on them. An end goal is the clear image in our minds of where we want to be or how we want to feel. We often confuse a mean goal with an end goal. Society has a way of making us only see the "means goals" which is all about what we think we need to meet our goals. By focusing on the means we forget our end goals. Have you ever taken a job "for the money" only to find that you can't stand it? Have you ever taken a class to "learn new skills" only to dread the mere thought of attending the class? Worrying about our GPA, stressing about finding a life partner, making money, getting into college are all examples of means goals. These are not the experiences that make us happy yet we loose ourselves in them all too often. Focusing on the end goals is what will help us find our happiness and fulfillment. 

So how do we find our true end goals? Let take 6 minutes to find out! You will need a sheet or two of paper, something to write with, a stop watch and 6 minutes of uninterrupted time. When you have these, please continue on. I will ask you three questions. You will need 2 minutes to write an answer for each one. Please read and answer one at a time, each in turn. Do not think about your response just write; write anything that comes to you. After the two minutes, take a breath and continue to the next allowing another 2 minutes.

Ready. Set your timer for 2 minutes.

 1) What do you want to experience in your lifetime? You could include comments around your health, your housing, and/or your social life. Write! 

 Ready. Set your timer for another 2 minutes. 

2) What do you want to learn in your lifetime? This includes all of your different interests: gardening, cooking, math, archeology, animals, meditation, ballroom dancing etc. Write! 

 Ready. Set your timer for another 2 minutes. 

3) How do you want to contribute to the world? This is about supporting, giving back and growing all the touches you in your lifetime. Including, but not limited to: supporting, comforting, teaching, inspiring, creating. 

The writing you have before you are your end goals. In answering the questions, you have remember the things that give you joy, fulfillment and accomplishment. This is the place where all your decisions should come from. All around you will be messages that say you need to make plans for your future; taking measured steps.  This is fine but be sure you have a clear starting point (where you are now) and an even clearer end point (your end goals). This will ensure you are on the right path. The clearer you are on your end goals, the easier your path will show itself to you. It is my hope for you that your path glows.